Catherine Needs You
by Foxy527
Summary: What would have happened if it would have been DORIS who showed up to interrupt Steve's date with Lynn with word that CATHERINE needed to be rescued? This is what I think that story would entail.
1. Chapter 1

**I was reading through some of my old stories and came across one I wrote called "Steve Needs You". I wrote it after the 150** **th** **episode when Wo Fat drugged and tortured Steve. In my story, Catherine came back from Afghanistan to be with Steve during his healing.**

 **So that started me thinking. What would have happened this season if it would have been** **Doris** **who showed up to interrupt his date with Lynn with news that** **Catherine** **needed his help. This story is my take on what it may have looked like.**

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Lynn walked towards the kitchen to get another bottle of wine. Steve's phone rang and showed a "Private Number".

Steve clipped out his normal greeting: "McGarrett."

"Steve?"

Steve's breath hitched as he recognized the voice on the other line. "Mom?"

"Are you busy?" she asked.

"Uh…" he glanced towards the kitchen where Lynn was getting wine. "Kinda. Where are you?"

"No time to explain over the phone. I'll be there in a minute. We need to talk."

"Mom wait…" Steve began but he heard the call end just as a set of headlights shone through his front window.

Lynn walked back in smiling and holding up two bottles in hand, "I didn't know if you wanted white or red….." She noticed the look on Steve's face and stopped in her tracks. "Is everything okay?"

"Uh…..I don't know." He looked towards the door as soon as he heard a knock. "Gimme a minute, okay?"

He walked towards the door and hesitated before opening to find his Mom standing there.

"Hey, Mom….."

Doris didn't wait for an invitation to come inside as she moved past him into the living room.

"We need to talk and I don't have much time." She began before noticing Lynn watching. "Oh…..I didn't know you had company."

Steve shut the door and couldn't hide the sarcasm as he spoke, "Maybe because you didn't let me talk before you showed up out of thin air…again…and barged into my house."

Lynn had heard a little about Steve's past with his mom, but the coldness she heard in his voice at that moment was still a surprise to her. It was very unlike the Steve she knew and it made her heart ache for him.

"Not now, Steven." Doris scolded. "We need to talk. It's important."

Steve crossed his arms in front of his chest, "Okay. So talk." He knew Doris probably wanted to talk privately, but he wasn't in the mood to accommodate her anymore. The sooner they got this conversation over with, the better as far as he was concerned.

Doris looked from Steve…..to Lynn…and back to Steve. "It's Catherine."

Steve's expression turned blank and he swallowed a lump in his throat before asking bitterly, "What about Catherine?"

"She needs your help."

It wasn't what Steve was expecting or cared to hear. A sarcastic chuckle escaped him. "Well, that's too bad. I'm sorta in the middle of something. Find someone else." He opened the front door again in a move to get his mom to leave.

Doris had known it wouldn't be easy convincing Steve to help, but she had no choice. Steve was the only chance she had. She grabbed his arm firmly making him look at her again. "There _**is**_ no one else. You are the only one who can get help me get her out."

Steve's brows creased across his forehead. "What are you talking about? With all your 'connections', there has to be someone else. Catherine isn't my concern anymore."

Doris sighed. "We were in Dubai waiting to meet a source with some information we needed. Catherine was the one who'd made the contact and was supposed to meet them at an outdoor café. I was close by….watching and listening to everything….."

When she didn't continue, Steve said, "And….?"

"They grabbed her off the street , Steve. It all happened so fast, we had no chance to respond. She was walking towards the mark when an unmarked van pulled up. Two men jumped out, grabbed her and sped off. The meeting had to have been a set up."

All sorts of alarms went off in Steve's head. No matter how much Catherine had broken his heart, he still didn't want her to be kidnapped…..or tortured…or worse. "Who was it? Where did they take her? And when did this happen?"

"I don't know who it was, but I have my suspicions…They're keeping her in the city which is going to make it difficult to get her out since any move we make is going to cause attention…And it happened three days ago."

Steve shook his head in disbelief, "Three _**days**_ ago? She might be _**dead**_ by now, Mom."

It made her feel better to hear the concern in Steve's voice because it gave her hope that he might actually still care enough to help rescue Catherine. "No…She's alive," she answered. "We have people watching."

"So why don't 'your people' get her out? Why do you need me?"

"You know how this works, Steve. An agent who is undercover and captured in hostile territory is on their own. The only reason the others agreed to keep an eye on her was because we've worked together so long. They won't last much longer, though. I have to get her out…and I can't do it on my own. "

Yes, Steve knew how it worked; All too well. That still didn't mean he wanted to get involved again. He was finally managing to get her out of his system, so this was the last thing he wanted to do. He continued to look at his mom skeptically but she saw his façade breaking a little. So even though he had a yet-to-be-introduced woman standing in his living room, Doris decided to 'go in for the kill', so to speak.

"Look, son…..I know she hurt you, but no matter how you might feel about her **now,** you also know you'll regret not helping her if something happens."

Steve knew she was right…..and it sucked. Thinking about Catherine being held by God-knows-who having God-knows-what done to her did not sit well with him.

He had no choice.

He had to save Catherine.

He sighed again, "Alright. Gimme a few minutes to pack a bag."

He walked over to Lynn and took the wine bottles out of her hand to put them on the table along with their unfinished dinner. Then he led her upstairs to be with him while he packed. There was no way in hell he was leaving her downstairs with his mother. She sat down on the bed still holding her glass of wine.

"I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize." She said.

"If I thought they would do something to get her out, I wouldn't be going, but…"

"Steve," Lynn interrupted and gave him a small smile, "You don't have to apologize. I understand. Just promise me you'll stay safe."

He pulled Lynn up to give her a lingering kiss. "I'll stay safe. I promise."

Within the next 15 minutes, Steve packed his bag and called Danny to let him know what was going on. Danny had of course tried to discourage him from going along even though he knew Steve well enough to know he would ignore the advice. He may've tried to move on from Catherine, but Danny knew she still had a strong hold on Steve's heart. What that meant, he wasn't sure…..but whatever it was, Steve would do whatever he had to do to save her. When Danny suggested bringing the rest of the team along, Steve shut him down immediately.

"Danny, the last thing we need is more people to bring attention to us. I appreciate the offer, buddy….Really, I do…but if I'm going to get Cath out of there, we have to stay as inconspicuous as possible. I need to be in…..and out…..That's it."

After promising to keep them updated, Steve ended the call. He grabbed his bag in one hand and Lynn's hand in the other before walking back downstairs.

Doris went outside to wait for him in the car while he said goodbye to Lynn. He joined her a few minutes later….and after moving her out of the driver's seat and getting behind the wheel himself…..they made their way to a private airstrip where a plane was already waiting for them.

Once they were settled on the plane, Steve got settled as far away from his mom as possible while she talked to the pilot. It wasn't long after take-off, however, before Doris found him and sat down beside him.

"You okay?" she asked as she reached a hand out to rub his back.

He cocked an eyebrow as he looked at her…..a little surprised at her nurturing gesture. "I'm fine."

"You're lying….."

"What difference does it make, Mom? I'm doing what you wanted and going to help get Catherine out. But when this is over, I won't do it again. You both need to understand that…..I'm moving on."

"Moving on with the woman at your house, I guess?"

"Her name is Lynn…..and yes, it's all pretty new, but I'm seeing what its like to have someone who won't leave at a moments notice, if you know what I mean."

Doris looked hurt by his words, but he couldn't find it within himself to feel guilty anymore. She had come and gone too many times. So had Catherine. No matter how much he may have loved her, he had begun to understand that she was very much like his Mom; She was never going to leave "the business". There was a time he thought he would be enough to change her mind, but he'd obviously been wrong. He wasn't opening his heart up to the hurt anymore.

 _Yeah, keep telling yourself that, McGarrett_ , that 'inner voice' seemed to tell him.

"Catherine loved you, Steve. I think she still loves you."

"Yeah, well, she made her choice. If I was enough for her, she wouldn't have left the last time." He let out a sarcastic laugh. "And to think I was actually going to…." He stopped himself and looked down at his hands.

"You were going to what?" Doris asked.

He looked at his mom and she could see a world of hurt still there. Suddenly, she understood. Steve had been planning to propose to Catherine.

"It doesn't matter," Steve said. "It's all in the past now. I don't wanna talk about it anymore, if you don't mind."

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 **What do you think? Let me hear your thoughts!**


	2. Chapter 2

Steve stood up to walk around and put some distance between him and his mother. She let him have the space for a few minutes before standing up to join him again. This time, he was looking out the window lost in thought as he watched the clouds floating by.

Her heart hurt for him. She was his mother, after all. And although she may've done a lousy job of it in the last 20 years, she still loved her children immensely. Doris felt it was her duty to try to make up for some of the bad decisions _she'd_ made by giving her perspective on where things stood with Catherine. Call it gut instinct or "mother's intuition", but she knew Steve was judging Catherine too harshly…and it was all her fault for what she had done to him and Mary when they were younger.

"Can I tell you one more thing?" she asked him softly.

Hearing the sincerity in her voice, Steve turned to look at her and gave her a quick nod. He knew there was probably no way to stop her from speaking her mind anyway, so he reasoned he might as well listen to what she had to say.

Doris sat down beside him and took a deep breath. "I know I wasn't the mom you and Mary deserved, Steve…"

He turned to look back out the window, "Mom, we've gone over this before. Can we not talk about it again?"

She put a hand up to stop him. "Wait…..I need for you to hear me out. I know that I wasn't there for you and Mary like I should have been." She looked down at her hands folded in her lap, "That will always be my _biggest_ regret." Looking up at him again, she continued, "And I know you are probably comparing Catherine to _me_ …and assuming she would never be able to stick around for long either…"

"Because she never has before…." Steve interrupted quietly.

"You're not being _**fair**_ ," Doris admonished. " _Think about it_ , son: For nearly the whole time you've had this 'thing'…..or relationship…..or whatever you've called it….you've **both** been deployed to different parts of the world. And she wasn't always the one to leave, was she? How many times were _you_ called away when you were an active SEAL?"

Steve couldn't answer that, of course, so she continued, "After _you_ resettled in Hawaii, Catherine resigned her commission from the Navy because she thought you had a future together. As I've said before, that girl _**loves**_ you. I've never doubted that from the first time I saw you together. So when she officially retired from the Navy…..and months and months went by with nor sort of commitment towards her….I think she started to wonder if you felt the same way about her as she did for you."

"How would you know anything about it, Mom?" he asked bitterly. "Besides, why would Catherine doubt how I felt about her? I _told_ her how I felt."

"To answer your first question, Cath and I have spent quite a bit of time together these last months so we've had a lot of time to talk. I've gotten to know her pretty well. As for her knowing how you felt about her…..according to what she's shared with me, there are only two times you _told her_ or made some sort of indication how you felt. One was when she decided to stay in Afghanistan…..and you told her that you loved her. The second was when she came home for Kono's wedding. You asked her how long she could stay…..and she answered by asking how long you wanted her to stay. Did you ever really _answer_ that question? Because my understanding is that you got a call…went off to save the world…which you do very well, by the way….and the two of you never brought it up again. Sound about right?"

Steve had the decency to look embarrassed even though he was trying to stay cool. "She should have _**known**_. There has never been anyone else for me."

Even as he said it, he felt his heart break…again. Damned if his eyes didn't even get misty as he said the words. He turned away from his mother again. When the hell would Catherine ever be out of his system?

Doris couldn't help but smile knowingly.

She was getting through to him…..

She could feel it.

"That may be true, son….but does SHE know that? You blame her for leaving you…but did you give her a _reason_ to stay?"

"She could have turned down the assignment." Steve said sadly. "When she came back for Kono's wedding, she could have stayed if she really wanted to."

"And do _what_?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Steve said a little louder than he'd intended…..but his mother's honest interpretation of the situation was pissing him off. Not to mention making him feel guilty as hell.

"Was she supposed to hang around forever….in limbo…..wondering if you were ever going to ask her to marry you?" Doris said softly as she reached a hand out to rest it on his knee, "I don't think you have ever fully trusted her, sweetie. Catherine is smart enough to have picked up on that too. So I'll ask you again, did you ever answer her question about how long you wanted her to stay?"

Steve swallowed a lump in his throat and Doris could see the amount of hurt in his eyes once again. "I was going to do that if she stayed," he said quietly. "In fact, I'd planned on changing all of that the same day she left. I'd planned an entire proposal dinner and everything before I came home to find her waiting for me out front. She made her choice, Mom. Now we need to let it go."

He stood up to leave again, but Doris stopped him. "Sit down." She said in her most motherly tone. When Steve just stared at her, she said it again as she pointed towards the seat, "Sit…..down. I'm not finished."

Steve rolled his eyes and sighed but complied. It was all Doris could do not to smile…..It was so much like the teenage Steve she remembered. Her boy was still 'in there'…..even though life had hardened him somewhat.

She knew Steve's heart was good…..and strong….and fiercely protective of those he loved. Just like her beloved John had been. He was so much like his dad that it was almost too much to watch at times. Now was not the time to think about that, though. She needed to speak the truth to her son and try to set things right, if it was the last thing she ever did.

She owed Steve that much.

"You keep telling me that 'Catherine made her choice'…..but the truth is, you didn't _give her_ a choice when she left. Yes, she may have committed to the CIA before coming home for Kono and Adam's wedding, but had she known you were going to propose…or if you would've **actually** proposed…it might have changed **everything.** I really do believe she would've backed out of that first assignment with us. So did she make the choice?-Or did you make the choice for her because you were afraid she is too much like me?"

Her words hit Steve as if he'd been punched in the gut. He felt his heart knot up as it had a hundred times after Catherine had left the last time. Would it have really made a difference if he'd told her how much he loved her and wanted her to stay?

"How do you know it would have changed everything if I would've gone ahead and proposed to her?"

Doris looked at him for a long moment before sighing. Her eyes filled with unshed tears and her voice was full of emotion when she spoke again, "I've said it before….and I'll say it again. That girl loves you, Steve. But she can't wait around forever while you get your head out of your ass and figure out what you want?"

Steve gaped at her indignantly, "Excuse me?"

"I've spent enough time with Catherine Rollins this past year to know two things. First….she is not like me and I seriously doubt she would ever make a lifetime career out of it. She is very good at what she does, but her heart isn't in it. And second, she would make a better daughter-in-law than an agent because of that reason."

"I don't know what to say," Steve said. "I mean, I honestly don't know what you want from me."

"It's not me you need to worry about," Doris said. "I've made my bed…..and I can lie in it even though it's hard every time I think about what I've lost in the process. I don't want that for you OR Catherine. Just think about it. Okay?"

Steve didn't trust himself to speak so he just nodded.

Doris stood up, "I'm going to go get some coffee. Want some?"

Steve nodded again as Doris left him to his thoughts which were now messier than they'd been since Catherine had first walked out. His mom had certainly given him a lot to think about. Was she right in assuming that Catherine would have chosen him over the job if he would have proposed? Had he really been so afraid that she would say 'no' that he backed off and let her walk away without a fight?

And last…and most disturbing…..had he unconsciously compared Catherine to his mother and judged her because of his mom's abandonment? He was no shrink, but he'd had enough dealings with people to have a basic understanding of how the human psyche could confuse things. They saw it all the time as cops. If his mom was right, he'd been unfair to Catherine in doing so, and he didn't know what to do about it now.

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 _Several hours later….._

The McGarrett's landed and moved quickly to a house that was typically used as a 'safe house' in the area. Doris briefed Steve on what they knew as she went through all the surveillance footage and pictures of where Catherine was being held. Most of the pictures were grainy, but the last one dated several hours earlier showed what appeared to be Catherine. She was being held in a unfurnished room and brought out periodically presumably for questioning. Those were the images and audio difficult for Steve to see and listen to. After being held for several days…most likely without food or much water…..Catherine was very weak. Steve's blood boiled during one interrogation when she'd been backhanded so hard her chair fell over.

 _If you would've tried that in the beginning, she would have had your ass on a platter_ …Steve thought towards the perpetrator. Only a coward would beat up on a woman; especially one in a weakened state.

They had to move fast because Steve couldn't watch much more without barreling in there like a bat out of hell without a plan at all. He knew Catherine was tough as nails, but this was too much for him to watch.

Doris knew what he was thinking as she stood behind him and put a hand on his shoulder, "Let's come up with a plan of attack to get her out of there. Come on….."

She led him over to another table where she had a makeshift blueprint the building. I was an abandoned house that was unfortunately surrounded by several other houses which were occupied. This meant they would have to go in as quietly as possible as to not draw too much attention to themselves.

As they were looking over the blueprint and trying to figure out the most advantageous entrance point, there was a knock on the door. Since no one was supposed to know where they were, Steve and Doris immediately went on the offensive. Both pulled their guns out ready to go. Doris went to answer the door as Steve took point behind her.

Doris looked out the security hole in the door and looked back at Steve to smile before opening the door. "Well, hello Detective Williams….."

Danny walked in followed by Lou, Chin, and Kono.

Steve walked up with a "what the hell are you doing here" look on his face.

"What? You didn't think we would let you do this alone, did ya, Boss?" said Kono.

When Steve looked towards Danny, Danny said, "Catherine is Ohana. We couldn't let you do this alone, buddy. We're all here to get her out."

Doris closed the door. Since Steve was still apparently unable to speak, she was the one to speak up.

"Come on, guys. We were just trying to come up with a plan of attack. Let's put our heads together and get this done."


	3. Chapter 4

**Okay...due to popular opinion, I've decided to continue this story. "Trolls be danged". If you don't like the story, don't read it.**

 **Here is a friendly warning: This is a McROLLINS FICTION…..which means I will probably have McROLLINS reunited by the end of it.**

 **If that isn't your thing, please move on and refrain from telling me how much you hate them together. There are plenty of other stories with other pairings on here (some of which I have written) for you to find another you should like.**

 **Remember: These are** **fictional** **characters with** **fictional** **story lines** **. If you don't like the way I "imagine" things, please feel free to write your own version. ;)**

 **And….Merry Christmas everyone!**

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It wasn't long before they'd come up with a plan. It wasn't an easy one, but it was the best they could do under the circumstances: Lou and Chin would work the perimeter for any "strayers"; Danny and Doris would serve as Steve's backup as he got Catherine out; and Kono would be watching the entire area with sniper rifle ready to take down anyone who dared thwart their plan.

They all knew it was risky. However, all of them knew Steve well enough to know that he would do whatever was necessary to save Catherine.

 _His_ Catherine.

Against all odds and against all reason, he still loved her.

Had she lied to _him_? Yes.

Had he lied to _her_? Yes.

Had they _both_ held back from being completely open and honest about their feelings for each other? Yes.

Were they both _regretting_ that now? Most definitely **yes**!

Lynn was great and she had been wonderful, but no matter how anyone looked at it, Steve was still in love _with Catherine_. Truth be told, all they probably needed was for someone to lock them in a room together with the stipulation that they _**had**_ to be _honest_ about their feelings for each other before they could get out. At this point, _everyone else_ in their life knew what was going on anyway. **Steve and Catherine** were the only ones too stubborn to talk.

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Before leaving, Danny pulled Steve aside.

"Can I talk to you for a sec?" he asked.

Steve knew there was no reason saying 'no' since Danny was bound to say whatever was on his mind one way or another.

"Sure," he answered. "What's on your mind?"

Steve saw Danny's expression change to one that was obviously full of legitimate concern for his friend. They'd been partners for 6 years and knew how to read each other very well. Whatever Danny had on his mind, Steve knew it was best to drop the smart-ass remarks and _**listen.**_

Danny took a deep breath and sighed before looking back at Steve. "I know you loved Catherine. If I'm being completely honest, I think you **still** love Catherine. A love like that is hard to let go….But please hear me out when I say that I'm _worried about you_."

Steve looked at him wordlessly so Danny continued.

"Listen, I'm not saying we shouldn't go in there to rescue her. We are all in this 110%, buddy…We are _**behind**_ you _completely_ and without question. We love Cath, too, so we're damn well gonna see this through. But…."

Steve shuffled on his feet. "But what, Danny?" he asked quietly.

"But….we just don't want to see you **hurt**.

Steve swallowed the lump of emotion in his throat. Damn those emotions and how they kept creeping up the last couple of days!

"Thanks, buddy. I think I'll be okay. In fact, I think I might finally be figuring things out. We just have to get Cath out of there right now. I'll deal with the rest of it later."

Danny stepped forward to put a hand on Steve's shoulder. "You know I'm here for you. Right?"

"I know, Danny. Thank you." Steve pulled Danny in to a quick bro hug complete with pats on the back.

Then they joined the rest of the group, finalized their plans for the "rescue" and started to move forward.

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"We have eyes on the rear entrance. All is quiet." Grover said into the earpieces.

"All clear in the front too, Boss," said Kono. "We've got it covered."

Steve looked down once again at the live feed Doris had transmitting onto a watch sized screen with heat sensors showing them where everyone was located inside the building. Catherine appeared to be alone in the room they had been keeping her in between interrogations. There was one guard at the beginning of the hallway and another outside her door. Danny and Doris would neutralize those targets while Steve moved in to get Catherine the hell out of there. The hope was that they would get her out of there without being discovered, but if that wasn't the case, they were fully prepared to do whatever necessary to get out safely.

"Ok…..We're going on three," Steve told everyone. He counted down…..and the rest of the team watched as Danny, Doris, and Steve made their way to the outer rear door. Doris placed a device on the outside which basically rendered the security system useless long enough for them to get inside without sending off any alarms. Within a few seconds, they had made their way inside.

"How much do we have to pay to get one of those nifty little gadgets?" Lou quipped.

Doris chuckled onto the line, "Sell your soul and join the CIA."

"On second thought, never mind. We'll just keep doing it the old fashioned way." he said.

It wasn't long before they reached the hallway leading to the room where Catherine was located. It didn't take long for Doris to take the first guard by surprise and knock him out with a tranquilizer.

"He's gonna be out for few hours," she whispered. "But he's going to wake up with one hell of a headache."

They continued down the hall and quickly overtook the guard waiting outside of Catherine's room in the same manner. While Doris and Danny watched for any unwanted visitors, Steve moved inside.

Catherine was curled up on the floor in a fetal position. She heard the door creak shut and quickly bolted into a sitting position.

"Cath, it's me," he said gently.

She recognized the voice but shook her head in disbelief. "No….It can't be. You're trying to trick me."

Steve took a step closer only to see her scoot back until she was right up against the wall.

"Stay away…." she tried to sound strong but her voice cracked with exhaustion.

Steve's heart ached seeing her this way. His strong, brave, Catherine was cowering and it broke his heart. What the hell had they done to her over the last few days to reduce her to such a state?

"Catherine," he said softly again as he knelt in front of her. "It's me…It's Steve. I'm here to take you home."

Catherine looked at him for what seemed like forever and didn't speak. Her eyes were unfocused, hazy, and exhausted. She appeared to have been drugged.

Steve reached a hand out to her slowly, "Can you stand up? Take my hand and let's try, okay?"

"Steve?" she asked still hesitant to believe it was him.

Steve smiled and she felt her heart burst at seeing the smile she'd loved for so long. She had to be hallucinating. That was the only reasonable explanation she could come up with at the moment for seeing Steve in front of her. If it was in fact a hallucination or a dream, she hoped it wouldn't end.

"Yes, honey…..It's me. We don't have a lot of time, so we need to go. Can you stand up for me?"

Still looking uncertain, Catherine grabbed the wall behind her and stood up, but it didn't take much for Steve to see there was no way she'd be able to walk out without some assistance. However, he had been expecting that, and since Catherine didn't weigh much anyway, it wouldn't be a problem for him to get her out of there…even if he had to carry her out himself.

He moved beside her and put her arm around his shoulder. "Hold on to me, okay?"

Catherine nodded weakly.

As they made their way towards the door, he heard two shots before Danny peered into the room. "We gotta move, Steve. They know we're here."

Still trying to stay calm, Steve tightened his hold on Catherine, "Ok, Cath…..hold on to me and I promise I'm gonna get you out of here."

He felt Catherine's arm tighten around his waist a little. "Good girl…Let's go," he encouraged as he started leading her out. He held on to her with one arm and had his gun in the other. They stepped into the hallway and took the lead while Doris and Danny stayed behind them. Someone stepped out from the shadows taking aim at them, but Steve was faster as he quickly took the man down with two shots to the head. He felt Catherine flinch beside him and her knees gave way. Casting a quick glance at Danny and his mom, he said, "You guys are going to have to take over. She's too weak to walk out."

They both nodded in understanding. "We've got it, son." Doris said. "Get Catherine out of here." Doris came to the front which put Steve and Catherine in the middle and Danny in the back. Steve quickly lifted Catherine into his arms. She hissed in pain making Steve wonder, once again, what they had done to her.

"It's okay, honey. I've gotcha." He whispered.

"I wanna go home…" she whispered into his ear.

"Yes…..we're going home, Cath," he whispered back.

A few minutes later, and without further incident, they'd made their way outside where Lou and Chin were already waiting in an SUV they had "borrowed". Steve got into the far back with Catherine trying to quickly examine her injuries, but it was too dark to determine what all might be wrong.

"I wanna go home," she whispered. "I wanna go home to Steve…."

Everyone cast worried glances towards each other as Steve stayed in the back of the vehicle holding Catherine. Nothing else mattered besides getting her to safety and back home where she belonged.


	4. Chapter 5

**A bit of a shorter chapter...but wanna get it posted because I'm so excited. :)**

 **Many thoughts in mind of where this is going...**

 **Let me know your thoughts! :)**

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It was too much to expect that they could get out so easily. Before they were able to leave the parking lot, they heard Kono in their earpieces:

"We might have trouble. Looks like four men coming towards you at 2 o'clock and 10 o'clock."

Chin was driving and quickly spotted the first two on his left. Lou was in the passenger seat and saw the others. They were approaching slowly which meant they were either overly confident that this would be an easy apprehension, or they had no idea who they were up against.

"How do you want to handle this, McGarrett?"

"I'll take care of it," Doris looked back and gave a pointed look in Steve's direction as she spoke.

Before anyone could stop her, she had opened her door and stepped out.

"We want Lieutenant Rollins back." They heard the first man say.

Doris shook her head, "Sorry, fellas, but that's not going to happen."

"Hand her over and we'll forget about all of this and let you go. We just want _her_."

"Like I said, that's not going to happen." Doris repeated.

"Well that's too bad because we can't let you leave with her. Barkov isn't finished with her."

Steve heard the name and felt the hairs on the back of his neck go up: Sergi Barkov was a well know Russian operative who had been rumored to have gone "rogue". Steve's SEAL team had been hunting him down at the same time they were going after the Hess brothers. He had gone completely off the grid after the younger Hess brother was killed at Steve's hand…and John McGarrett was murdered as well.

If Sergi Barkov was the one who had taken Catherine, they were in for one hell of a fight.

It also meant that Steve's suspicions had been correct all along and Barkov _did_ have ties with Wo Fat at one time…..and maybe to his mother as well?

But even if all of this _was_ true, what could a man like Barkov possibly want with _ **Catherine**_?

No matter how one looked at it, this situation was getting worse by the second, but he'd be damned if these guys were getting Catherine back. The thought of them using her as a punching bag had his blood boiling.

Steve laid Catherine down as gently as he could before moving towards the door. He looked at his guys, "Be on guard. If Sergi Barkov is behind this, we can't give an inch."

Chin, Lou, and Danny didn't recognize the name of "Sergi Bankov", but Steve obviously did….and from the reaction he was giving them, it didn't look good. They trusted him implicitly so they 'had his back' without question. Everyone was poised and ready to go if needed.

Steve stepped out of the vehicle to join his mom. "What seems to be the problem?"

One of the men stepped forward in an attempt to intimidate Steve….which failed miserably since he was rarely intimidated by anyone.

"We want _Rollins._ " The one who seemed to be in charged barked out.

"Not going to happen." Steve repeated.

The man standing closest to Doris made a threatening step towards her but she quickly took him down with a swift kick to his most "sensitive area" before reaching up and grabbing his neck in some sort of martial arts move that knocked him out.

As Chin, Lou, and Danny watched from inside the vehicle, it only took a matter of seconds before Steve and Doris had all four men on the ground and incapacitated.

" _ **Damn**_ , those McGarrett's are fast." Lou whispered as the scene unfolded in front of them.

Steve took down the "man in charge" on his own and held him down with a knee between his shoulder blades and his arms pulled back in a painful position.

"You tell Bartov that Commander _Steve McGarrett_ needs a **word** with him. He'll know where to find me."

Doris looked at Steve as if he had lost his mind.

"You just signed your death certificate, mate," the man spat.

Steve pulled the man's arms up a bit higher causing him to winch in pain. "We'll see about that….. _ **mate**_ ". Pulling a zip tie out of his pocket, he secured the man's hands before looking back at his mom. "Let's go."

They got back into the SUV, pulled around the front where Kono quickly jumped inside, and made their way to the Al Minhad Air Base to get Catherine some medical care. Steve held her the entire way and said some silent prayers that she was going to be okay. The rest of his team couldn't tune out the sweet things he was whispering to her either…It was as if Steve had not only realized how much she needed _him_ , but how much he needed _._ as well.

At one point during the 20-minute drive, Catherine stirred just a little.

"Water," she choked out.

"What was that?" Steve looked down at her and whispered gently.

Her eyes were still closed and her brow was furrowed, "Water…." She said again and coughed. "Please."

Kono was retrieving a bottle from her bag and handing it to Steve within seconds.

Steve held it up to Catherine's mouth. "Here, Cath. Take a drink for me."

Catherine did as Steve asked and did so several more times on the drive to the air base.

Steve gently lifted Catherine's shirt to look at possible injuries and winched at the extensive bruising over her ribs. There was little doubt she had some that were broken…..and depending on the _extent_ of damage, he would have to be very careful moving her to avoid any other complications like additional breakage or a punctured lung. There was also a nasty looking gash on her forehead that would require stitches; Presumably from either being hit with something or thrown against something. She was also favoring one arm. Upon examination, he could clearly see bruising and swelling around her wrist which meant it was either broken or severely sprained.

 _What the hell have they done to her?_ He thought as he held her close and leaned down to kiss the top of her head.

Doris called a contact on the base to let them know they were bringing in a wounded U.S. operative in urgent need of medical care. When they arrived, medical staff was waiting for them. Steve lifted Catherine out of the vehicle and placed her on the waiting gurney to be wheeled in. He was surprised when he felt Catherine grip his forearm tightly. He'd doubted she had any strength left until that moment, but obviously he was wrong.

Her eyes were still closed, but she held on to arm. "Please don't leave me," she whispered. "Please call Commander McGarrett."

Steve leaned down to kiss her forehead and grabbed her hand in his own, "It's me, Cath…..and I'm not going anywhere, babe. I'm right here with you."

She seemed to relax hearing his voice. He didn't let go of her as they were taken in and the exam began to see what the extent of her injuries might be.

*******************h50*******************h50****************h50

Danny, Chin, Kono, Lou, and Doris tried to get settled while drinking coffee that was way too strong as they waited for word on Catherine's injuries. After what seemed like forever, the doctor walked in to the room to brief them on her condition.

"It seems Lt. Rollins is adamant about Cmdr McGarrett staying right beside her…so he asked me to give you an update."

By this time, they were all standing and waiting…

He let out a sigh. "Lt. Rollins is suffering from numerous contusions, broken ribs, a severely sprained wrist, and a probable concussion. It's also evident that she has experienced at least one sexual assault."

He heard multiple gasps and expletives…and a very audible, "Son of a bitch!" from Danny before he continued.

"I've instructed Commander McGarrett that we need to keep her awake for at least the next 12 hours. It's going to be hard as hell to do that because she is already exhausted and severely dehydrated. However, if we can do that, I might be able to get a better idea on her head trauma."

He looked at each of them individually. "I think we can do that if we all pitch in and try to help."

They all looked at each other in a silent show of support.

"However…" he continued, "Something tells me your Commander McGarrett isn't going to leave her side for even two seconds. So maybe you just need to take turns keeping HIM awake….so he can keep HER awake."

Doris stepped forward and reached out her hand. "Thank you, doctor. We'll make sure it's covered."

"One other thing," he said, "Although it's pretty certain her physical injuries are going to heal, we have no idea what kind of psychological damage she has incurred. As I've told Commander McGarrett, those will be the most difficult to heal."

"When can we see them?" Danny asked.

"You can go back whenever you'd like," the doctor responded. "Just one or two at a time, please. We don't want to overwhelm her."


	5. Chapter 6

**YAY! I'm BACK! I had a wonderful Christmas/New Year's with family and friends. I hope you all did as well. Now we are back home; Hubby goes back to work…and the kids are back in school…so I can get back to my normal schedule too.**

 **I couldn't WAIT to get back and write another chapter in this story. Lots of ideas floating around and I can't wait to share with you. Thanks for reading!**

 ****As always, no copyright infringement intended. This story is a figment of my over-active imagination in regards to Five-0 and my love of the characters (Especially Steve McGarrett. LOL)**

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As the doctor walked away, Doris looked at Danny.

"You go first, Danno," she said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure." she answered with an encouraging smile.

Danny didn't need any more motivation. He left the waiting room and made his way to Steve and Cath.

He opened the door as quietly as possible and found Steve sitting by Catherine's side. One hand was stroking her hair and the other was holding her hand and trying to gently encourage her to stay awake.

She looked **so** _**tired**_ and Danny's heart hurt for her.

"How about if we find something to watch on tv?" Steve was asking her as Danny opened the door. Steve heard the door open and looked in that direction.

"Hey…" Danny offered them a tentative smile. "How's she doing?"

"Okay, I guess."

"How about _**you**_?" Danny probed further.

As Steve looked at her, Danny could see the emotion he was trying so valiantly to control even though he was smiling at Catherine. Then, he looked back at Danny and said, "She's taken a hell of a hit, Danny. I don't know…."

Danny walked further in to the room and put a supportive hand on Steve's shoulder before looking down at Catherine, "You're tough as nails, aren't ya, babe?"

Catherine smiled weakly before turning back towards Steve. "I just wanna go to sleep now."

After what she had been through, Steve knew she was _beyond_ tired. This was the kind of exhaustion that was felt all the way to your bones and made everything hurt and cry out for rest. He had been there, so he truly understood the exhaustion she was feeling. But, he also knew the importance of keeping her awake if she did have a concussion; Falling asleep before a medical "okay" could result in a much more serious medical condition.

"No!" Steve spoke a little too sharply as he stood up causing Catherine to shrink back.

Danny couldn't help but be concerned by the way she reacted.

It was so unlike her.

But thinking back, he remembered that Steve had been in a very similar state when they'd found him after he'd killed Wo Fat. Steve had also been very jumpy and nervous until the hallucinogens were out of his system and he'd rested.

Steve immediately realized his mistake at speaking so sharply and felt guilt wash over him. He took her hand in his again, "Sorry, sweetheart….but, you _**can't**_ go to sleep, okay? I need you to stay awake for me. Can you do that?"

She nodded tentatively and then her eyes seemed to focus more sharply on him as if she hadn't known him before. "Steve?" she asked. "Is that you?"

Danny tried once again not to show his concern at realizing Catherine was still struggling to differentiate between reality and whatever was going on in her head. No one was used to seeing her so vulnerable, so as difficult as it was for _Danny_ to see it, he knew it must be much worse for _**Steve**_ to see her this way.

"It's me, Cath. I'm right here." Steve whispered before leaning down to put a gentle kiss on her lips.

Catherine's eyes filled with tears, "Please don't leave me," she said again.

"I'm not leaving." Steve assured her before crawling onto the bed and pulling her into his arms. He pulled her as close as possible, kissed her forehead, and cradled her as if she were a child instead of the strong, independent woman he'd always known her to be.

"I'm not leaving," he repeated. "I promise."

She suddenly seemed more lucid, but Danny knew that may not last very long. Once again, the memories of what Steve had been through after being tortured and nearly killed by Wo Fat came back to Danny. It had taken what seemed like forever for Steve to "come back to reality" due to the hallucinogens in his system. During that time, Catherine stayed with Steve through every nightmare….. every tremor…and every psychotic moment. She didn't leave his side for a second. Danny knew without a doubt it had been **Catherine's** _ **care**_ and _**love**_ for Steve that had brought him "back" to them.

How ironic was it that they were in a nearly identical situation except that it was **Catherine** needing **Steve's** nurturing?

 _Well_ , Danny thought, _if anyone can bring out the nurturing side of Steve, it's Cath._

Steve started to flip through the channels to find something to watch. Catherine looked in Danny's direction.

"Danny?" she asked.

"Yeah, babe….It's me." Danny answered.

"What are you doing here?"

"Making sure you're okay," Danny said as he leaned down to kiss her cheek. "And making sure this guy is taking care of you like he should."

Catherine released what sounded like a soft giggle and the sound was music to both Steve and Danny's ears.

"I'm okay," she said. "At least I think I'm okay." She looked up at Steve for confirmation, "Right?"

"You're perfect." Steve answered and she seemed to relax.

"Wanna watch something with us?" she asked Danny.

"Maybe in a little while. The rest of the family wants to see you."

"Who's here?"

"Chin, Kono, Lou….and Doris." Danny answered.

" _ **All**_ of them?" Catherine could hardly believe it as she sat up a little straighter in her bed. "Why are they here?"

Steve pulled her a little closer and kissed the top of her head again, "They just want to see that you're okay."

**************h50********h50******************h50

Over the next couple of hours, everyone made their way in to check on Catherine. Although none of them said it, they were also checking on Steve. They were worried about her, but they also couldn't forget the concern they had for their Commander…their boss…and their friend. Chin and Kono had both been fielding calls from Max, Kamekona, AND Jerry…so the sooner Cath was on the road to recovery, the better it would be for all of them.

***************h50*****************h50**************h50

Steve and Catherine had a difficult night. He tried his hardest to keep her awake and everyone else took shifts to help out. Keeping someone awake who was mentally and physically exhausted was no easy task, but they took it all in stride. Catherine probably hated all of them at one point or another through those long, stressful hours, but she would thank them later.

Or at least they hoped so.

When the required "observation time" passed, Catherine had another round of tests done. The doctor came in shortly thereafter to give them the results. Steve and Kono were in the room with Catherine when he came in looking at the charts and test results taken earlier.

"Well, Lt. Rollins, it looks like you do _not_ have a concussion….which is definitely good news."

Steve and Kono both breathed a sigh of relief.

"However, the physical damage is such that I want to give you a couple more days here to rest and recuperate before sending you home. Is that okay?"

He was looking at Catherine, but she looked at Steve before answering. Upon seeing Steve's encouraging smile, she turned back to Dr. Jenson.

"Okay," she answered. "Ummmmm...I'm so tired, doctor. Can I please sleep now?"

Dr. Jenson chuckled. "Of course. Sleep as long as you can. After what you've been through you deserve it."

He motioned for Steve to join him before leaving the room. Catherine showed some resistance to Steve leaving her side, but Kono quickly stepped in to distract her so he could talk to Steve.

Once they were out in the hallway, Dr. Jenson's expression turned more concerned.

"You may already know this, but I have to tell you…From everything I can see, Catherine has been to hell and back. We may not know specifically what happened to her, but trust me when I tell you that it wasn't good. Those memories are going to resurface at some point or another and they are going to haunt her. You're going to need to find someone who can help get her through this. I can give you some recommendations…"

Steve put a hand up to interrupt him and shook his head in understanding, "I've been there."

The doctors eyebrows shot up in question as he looked at Steve.

Steve looked towards the door leading to Catherine before turning back to explain.

"A couple of years ago, I was abducted by someone I'd been investigating for years. He drugged me….interrogated me…and tortured me. By the time my team found me, I was in the same emotional place as Cath is now."

The doctor looked into Steve's eyes and had to ask. "So what happened to your kidnapper."

"I killed him." Steve answered in a monotone that was cold and resolved.

To his credit, the doctor didn't even flinch. Working in a combat zone would cause anyone to become accustomed to such statements. .

"Okay then," he said. "So you are familiar with what Lt. Rollins will be facing in the coming days. So, I can feel confident releasing her to your care, right?"

Steve's eyes were full of confidence and resolve. Dr. Jenson also saw something there that Steve may not have wanted to admit:

Love.

He loved Catherine Rollins…There was no disputing that fact by the look in his eyes….which is why Dr. Jenson decided to give her two more days to sleep.

Just SLEEP….and rest.

Then, he would release her to the Commander's care with confidence that she would be well taken care of.

What he didn't know was that Steve McGarrett and the entire Five-0 task force was also focused on finding the man who was responsible for what Catherine had been through. It may not happen overnight, but they WOULD find him.

And if Steve had his way, the man would be buried so deep no one would ever find him.

He put a supportive hand on Steve's shoulder, "I would suggest that you get some rest, too, Commander. You're both going to need it for what lies ahead."

Steve thanked him and quickly returned to Catherine's side. He climbed into the bed beside her again. She moved to mold herself against him. As he put an arm around her waist and pulled her closer, he felt tension leave her body and heard her sigh in relief before they both fell into a deep...and much needed...slumber.


	6. Chapter 7

Catherine slept the majority of the next thirty-six hours. The only thing that woke her were the nightmares taking over her subconscious. It was another thing Steve could understand because he'd been there. In fact, he sometimes _still_ woke from the nightmares…..Though he never told anyone.

Catherine's eyes were closed as Steve began to hear her breathing pick up. Her brows were creased and she was moving her head from side to side as if she were trying to shake them away.

Another nightmare had come.

How he wished he could take this part away for her. Reliving such a horrendous event was a torture in itself.

He tightened his hold on her and began to whisper, "It's okay, Cath. I'm here…You're okay…..You're safe." He kept repeating the phrases and trying to make her feel as safe as he could.

Danny was sleeping in one of the chairs and woke up as he heard Steve talking. The scene was so familiar; Only the first time around, _Catherine_ was the one bringing _Steve_ back from nightmares. Now, here they were again.

As Steve continued to speak softly to her, Catherine began to calm down and her breathing slowed as she fell into a deep sleep again. She shifted so her face was resting on his chest. "Steve….." she said dreamily taking a deep breath as if breathing him in. Steve kissed the top of her head as he'd done a hundred times over the last few hours and tried to go back to sleep himself.

Watching them silently, Danny said a prayer that they would be able to take Catherine home soon. Being back in familiar surroundings would be good for her, he thought; Especially with all of them there to help her.

**************h50****************h50************************h50

Steve's emotions were a mess and he was having a very difficult time keeping things in check as exhaustion started to take its toll on him as well.

What was he going to do? He didn't know what to think at this point. On one hand, nothing had ever felt as perfect as holding Catherine, so having her in his arms again just felt "right".

On the other hand, he had Lynn to think about. They may not have been together long, but he liked her. He had a great time with her. Hurting Lynn had never been his intention, but he had a feeling it was going to happen no matter what he decided to do.

He was holding Catherine in his arms as she slept and nothing had ever felt better. Maybe his mother was right….as hard as it was for him to admit that…..and he'd been wrong about Catherine. After all, Doris wasn't the only one who had accused him of dragging his feet when it came to proposing: Danny had said the same thing to him several times.

For the moment, Steve was content just to hold her. He would be taking her home soon and they would take it from there.

********************h50*****************h50*****************h50

 _One day later…_

Steve felt Catherine stirring and opened his eyes to make sure she was okay. Her eyes were more clear than they'd been since she'd been rescued. The look she gave Steve was one of complete surprise as if she had no idea why he was with her. She looked around the room.

"Where are we?" Her face was etched in confusion.

"The air base in Dubai," he answered.

Catherine started to sit up and immediately winced at the pain. Steve sat up to push her gently back down. "Lay down, Cath."

She did as he said but continued to look confused.

"Do you remember anything?" He was afraid to ask, but had to do so. The last thing he wanted to do was bring back memories of what had happened to her but they needed to know.

"Sergi Barkov….." she said before her brows creased and her eyes filled. "He…..ummmmm…he…"

"Shhh," Steve said. "It's okay. We don't have to talk about it now. It can wait a little longer."

She looked up at him with disbelief in her eyes, "You saved me."

Steve shook his head.

"But how did you…." She started to ask how he knew where to find her until realization struck her. "Doris told you didn't she?"

He let out a soft chuckle, "Actually she flew to Hawaii to _get_ me."

"So how bad am I?", she asked knowing that Steve would tell her the truth. They had seen each other through many difficult times, so she knew he wouldn't try to sugar coat anything like others might.

Even still, she saw him hesitate before taking a deep breath and willing himself to tell her. "You have a couple of broken ribs and a lot of bruising. Your wrist is sprained pretty bad. They drugged you with a hallucinogenic so you've been detoxing from that the last couple of days."

She knew there was something he wasn't telling her, "What else?" she asked him softly. Catherine felt Steve stiffen beside her and saw the muscle in his jaw moving like it did when he was angry. She could sense the horrible truth of what Steve wasn't telling her. "Did they….I mean, did he…."

"Yes," Steve sounded as if his heart broke for her. Then, his eyes grew dark as he looked at her with conviction and resolve in his eyes, " I swear to God, I'm going to make him pay for what he did to you, Cath."

Catherine grew very quiet and laid her head back down on his chest. She may not understand why Steve was here…..or how long it would last…..but she needed him. She decided not to question it so the dream wouldn't be broken.

She had missed him more than she could ever imagine was possible.

"Catherine, listen," Steve's voice was soft but firm. He was running his fingers through her hair like he used to do. It was something that had always made her feel 'cherished'. "You may not remember much right now…..and that's probably a good thing. I think that is our minds way of protecting us. But eventually," He stopped to look at her. " _Eventually_ , it will start coming back to you. Maybe all at once….or maybe in bits and pieces….but it will come back. I just want you to know that I'll be there for you when that happens."

Catherine leaned up to look at him and gave him a small smile. How she hoped that was true. "Thank you."

************h50****************h50******************h50

The doctor finally gave the all clear for Catherine to return home. It was the news they had wanted to hear, so Doris began working immediately to get them on to a flight leaving as soon as possible.

Catherine was feeling a little stronger, so the doctor asked to speak to her privately for a moment before discharging her. Steve's phone rang just as he stepped out into the hallway to give them privacy. The call was from a private number which made him curious.

"McGarrett," he answered.

"I heard you are looking for me, Commander McGarrett."

The hairs on the back of Steve's neck went up. "Barkov?"

The laugh on the other line held no humor. "It's funny because I've been wanting a word with you for a long time. Seems we've come full circle, doesn't it?"

"You knew where to find me," Steve said. "I've been in the same place for the last six years. Why did you go after Lieutenant Rollins?"

"She's beautiful, isn't she?"

Steve knew the man was trying to bait him and he refused to give in. "Answer the question," he growled. "Why did you go after her?"

"Because this was so much more fun than just showing up in Hawaii for a chat." Barkov said. Steve could hear the smile in his voice and it made him think murderous thoughts.

"When I find you,"

"You'll **what?**!" Barkov bellowed. "Take me to jail? We both know that won't happen, Commander. You have nothing on me that money or connections can't buy me out of."

"No, I'm not going to take you to jail." Steve spat. "But I am going to rip your heart out…..through your throat…after I have some 'fun' of my own with you."

Barkov chuckled again, "I'll be in touch, Commander."

The line went dead just as Danny was walking up to see why Steve had his infamous "aneurysm face".

"Who was that?" He asked.

"Barkov."

"Sergi Barkov?" Danny was clearly surprised. "How did he get your number? And what did he want?"

"He wanted to piss me off." Steve said.

"Well, clearly he succeeded," Danny quipped. "So what now?"

"Now…" Steve sighed as he looked towards Catherine's hospital room door. "Now we get Catherine home. We'll worry about the rest of it later."

Several hours later, they found themselves on a plane headed back to Hawaii. Doris hadn't been able to procure them a flight as quickly as she thought, so Steve called in a couple of favors…..including one to Joe White…..and arrangements had been made.

After they had been in flight for a while, Steve walked up to sit down beside Catherine. He handed her a cup of coffee which she took gratefully.

"How are you doing?" He asked.

She shrugged…..forgetting how painful that small movement would be until it was too late. "I'm okay."

Awkward seconds passed between them before Catherine spoke. "Why did you come after me? I mean…..I prayed that you would…..but I never thought it would happen. So why _did_ you?"

Steve was quiet for a few minutes before turning to look her in the eyes. She saw a well of emotion there: Anger, frustration, loneliness, brokenness….but also something else.

Steve finally spoke, "I still love you, Cath."

When she continued to look at him in disbelief, he continued. Might as well get it off his chest, he figured. He had wanted a conversation like this with her for over a year, so although the circumstances weren't ideal, he needed to talk to her.

"I've _always_ loved you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you that often enough."

Catherine reached out to take his hand, "I'm sorry too."

"Before you left, I told you that I couldn't wait for you." He swallowed a lump of emotion, "I tried to move on. I'd even convinced myself that I _had_ moved on…..but as soon as I found out you were in trouble, there was only one thing to do."

Catherine smirked, "That's not the version your Mom told me."

His eyebrows shot up, "Oh? And what did she tell you?"

"She said she had to convince you."

Steve shook his head, "Not true. I mean, I was surprised…..and angry that she would show up like that….but as soon as I heard what had happened, I knew what I had to do. I was afraid, though…."

Catherine couldn't believe it. Had she ever heard Steve admit to being afraid of anything? "Afraid of what?" she asked softly.

He sighed heavily and looked down at his coffee cup. "Afraid to admit that I still need you."

Her eyes filled with tears. "I know the feeling."

"So now I need to ask _you_ a question."

She knew what was coming, so she gave herself a quick mental pep talk to get through it. "Okay….." she urged him on.

"Why did you leave? Why did you take this job…..whatever it is…..and _why_ did you _**leave**_?"

Catherine looked away and he saw her wipe away a stray tear. "I was trying to protect you," she whispered.

Steve was confused. "From what?" he asked. When she didn't answer, he put his fingers on her chin and turned her towards him. "You were trying to protect me from _**what**_ , Catherine?"

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 **Any guesses on what it is that Catherine was protecting Steve from? Do you think they'll be able to sort this out? Hmmmmm… ;)**


	7. Chapter 8

Catherine opened her mouth to speak just as Doris sat down in front of them.

Coincidence?

Or just bad timing?

Steve couldn't be sure…..but he would bet his mother had heard the conversation and interrupted them on purpose. It didn't matter: He would get the details out of Catherine one way or another. Someone was hiding something and he had a feeling that "someone" was his mother.

As usual.

He was also curious about what had happened to sway Catherine to his mother's side of keeping things from him. It just didn't add up.

"So, Catherine….How are you feeling?" Doris asked as she smiled at both of them.

"Pretty good." Catherine said.

What followed next was 15 minutes or more of needless conversation that Steve knew was meant to "get him off the scent". After that, Catherine looked very tired and said she wanted to recline her seat and take a nap. Doris left them alone and went to talk to the pilot about their arrival time.

Steve turned to Catherine and saw that she was already closing her eyes. He knew very well that it took a while to gain energy back after being to hell and back. He quietly got a blanket out from the overhead compartment and covered her up.

Although her eyes were closed, Catherine reached over to take Steve's hand. "Thank you for coming for me," she whispered sleepily.

"Always," he promised as he lifted up her hand to plant a kiss on her palm.

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 _Oahu…_

Their plane arrived in Oahu shortly after 7 p.m. Everyone gathered their gear and getting ready to leave the plane; Everyone, that is, except for Catherine who sat stoically in her seat and wasn't moving. Steve grabbed the large duffel bag he'd brought along on the trip and looked towards her with concern before walking back to her.

"Cath…." He said, but she didn't respond. She just kept looking out of the window as if lost in her own world.

He moved in front of her and kneeled down. "Cath," he said again as he reached to put his hand on her knee. This time she _did_ look towards him and gave him a small smile.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

Catherine just shrugged…..The look in her eyes was haunted and it broke him inside.

She looked back out the window again.

Steve understood her trepidation. Coming back to the "real world" was always difficult after a mission or deployment, but doing so after going through such a horrendous nightmare was even tougher. The fears were going to follow her for a while until she could work through them.

But he would be there to help. He knew the rest of the Ohana would be also, just as they'd been there for him.

He took one of her hands in his, "It's gonna be okay, honey. I _promise._ I'm right here _**with you**_ . Okay?"

When Catherine turned to look at Steve again, he winked….and the endearment had so much tenderness and affection that it took her breath away.

She felt a lump in her throat.

She didn't deserve him, she thought…..but how _happy_ was she that he _still_ **cared!**?

She squeezed his hand, "Ok." She whispered.

"Ok," he winked at her again, "Come on, we'll walk off together."

He stood up and pulled Catherine to her feet. He didn't let go of her hand as he threw his duffle bag over the opposite shoulder and started towards the exit.

Steve was caught off guard as they started disembarking and saw Joe White at the end of the tarmac. He shot a look to his mom who looked as innocent as ever; Yeah, she'd perfected that look but Steve could see through it.

Yes, he had called Joe and asked for help getting them a flight home. As usual, his former commanding officer and surrogate uncle had been happy to pull strings and help. Joe hadn't even asked many questions. At the time, Steve hadn't thought much about it since his main concern had been getting Catherine back….but seeing Joe waiting on them in Hawaii brought unanswered questions to Steve's mind. Questions about why Joe had so readily helped them without asking for many specifics on how they'd ended up stranded.

So what had brought Joe to Hawaii? Before calling in this "favor", Steve hadn't heard from his mentor in months, and it had been a couple of years since he'd _seen_ him. The last he heard, Joe was on his ranch in Montana and trying to keep a low profile. What could've possibly brought him back to Hawaii unless it was something to do with Doris and this latest "mission"?

"Joe," Doris said as she reached him and gave him a quick hug. "Always good to see you."

Joe returned the hug and smiled back before turning his attention to Steve and Catherine who were making their way towards him. "How is she?" he asked Doris quietly.

"As well as can be expected. It was pretty bad, but we managed to get her out without causing too much attention."

Joe gave her a stern and disbelieving look, "That's not the way I heard it. What about Barkov?"

"Still unaccounted for, but we'll find him." Doris answered just before Steve and Catherine reached them.

"Joe…..Thanks for your help with the flight. What brings you to Hawaii?" Steve asked suspiciously as he put his bag down and reached his hand out to shake Joe's.

"Just thought it was time for a visit." Joe said.

Steve knew he was lying. He looked to his mom suspiciously before turning back to Joe. " Try again."

Joe's expression softened when he looked at Catherine. "Come on," he told Steve. "I'll buy everyone a round. We need to talk."

Steve looked at Catherine and knew the last thing she needed was to be at a crowded bar in the midst of strangers talking about what had happened.

"No offense, Joe, but now isn't a good time. I need to get Catherine home."

 _Home._

Catherine liked the sound of that. She hated that she didn't seem to have the strength to speak up and tell Joe herself, but she was glad to have Steve there to do it for her. No one knew her….or _read her_ …. like Steve. He knew exactly what she needed without her having to say a word.

Joe shook his head. "I understand that, but this is important."

"Okay fine. Follow us to my house and we'll talk there." Without waiting for Joe to answer, Steve led Catherine to his truck. Everyone else followed suit and got into their vehicles to make their way to the McGarrett home.

In the meantime, it didn't escape Steve's observation that Doris grabbed a ride with Joe rather than going back with him and Catherine. He couldn't help but be suspicious as he wondered whether she wanted to find out what was going on herself first…or were she and Joe already in this together and getting their stories straight. Either way, he would deal with it later. His main concern and first priority was getting Catherine back home.

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Doris settled in beside Joe. Once they were on the way back to the house, she broke the silence.

"What's this about, Joe?"

"We'll all talk about it together." He said.

"I'd rather talk about it _now_ , if you don't mind."

" _ **Why?**_ So you can figure out a way to cover it up and keep _this_ from Steve too?"

"What are you talking about?" She asked defensively.

Joe kept his eyes on the road, "We both know what happened back there, Doris; Barkov finding Catherine and knowing she was linked to Steve was not an accident. Wanna tell me how he happened upon that certain bit of Intel? Of all the people in the world who may be on CIA Watch Lists, how is it that Barkov is the one who snatched her in broad daylight and kept her until Steve arrived? "

"I don't know what you're talking about." Doris said again.

Joe smirked sarcastically and cast her a sideways glance, "Sure you do. You've wanted Barkov flushed out for years but could never do it on your own. Getting Catherine to play along was the way to do it….Only she wasn't aware she was a pawn. Isn't that right?"

Doris had the decency to look flustered and Joe continued, "Are you really so bent on revenge that you are willing to put your son _and_ the woman he loves in the crosshairs to do so? You know as well as I do that he'll be coming after Steve now. I, for one, am not going to let him be blindsided while you are out getting your revenge."

Doris was so stunned she didn't know quite what to say. Of all the things she envisioned happening when they got back home, _this_ had not been one of them.

She didn't have much time to come up with a "story" since it didn't take them long to arrive at the McGarrett home. Before she knew it, they had arrived and everyone was getting out of their cars to head inside.

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Steve unlocked the door and everyone followed him in.

He gave Catherine a quick kiss at the base of the stairs. "Why don't you go upstairs and take a bath," he said softly.

A bath sounded wonderful and Catherine couldn't help but smile. Steve knew how much she loved them…..especially with lots of bubbles.

Steve kissed her again, "Go." He said gently and Catherine followed his advice.

Once she was upstairs, he turned to look at his team, Joe, and his Mom. Everyone was watching except for Doris who seemed to be avoiding his gaze. That certainly didn't make him feel any better.

He looked at Joe, "So something tells me this wasn't something Catherine needed to hear….at least not right now."

Joe shook his head slowly, "You'd be right about that, son." He looked towards the stairs as if making certain Catherine wasn't listening. "Follow me outside. We can talk out there."

Joe didn't wait for anyone to respond; Just started walking towards the lanai expecting everyone to follow…..which they did. Everyone that is except for Doris.

Once Steve reached the dining room, he turned to look at her, "Coming with us?" he asked suspiciously.

Doris sighed. "Yeah. I'll be right there. I'm just going to go into the kitchen…Do you have any beer?"

"Uh….yeah, I think."

"Okay…..I'll get something for all of us. We're probably going to need it."

"I'll come with you."

"It's okay son, I've got it."

"No offense, but I think I want to come along. Wouldn't want you sneaking out of the house and missing this little 'talk' Joe wants to have with us." He said sarcastically.

Doris knew there was no point in arguing as Steve followed her into the kitchen to grab drinks for everyone.

Several minutes later everyone had settled into chairs outside with beers in hand. They'd put the chairs into a circle making it easier to talk.

"Alright, Joe…..We're ready. When are you going to tell us what this is about?"

Joe looked at Doris before he began.

"I know you are aware of who Sergi Barkov is and why we've wanted him so badly for years."

Steve shook his head, "He's wanted for drug and weapon trafficking as well as being tied to various sex trafficking rings in Russia and the Ukraine. I know he was not only linked to the Hess brothers, but was probably the one calling the shots."

"Right," Joe said. "But what you don't know is that he was also working very closely with Yao Fat all those years ago. "

Steve sat up straighter. "So Yao Fat and Barkov were business partners?"

"Yes. The Hess' ran most of the day to day operations, but Barkov and Yao Fat were the two in the shadows who made the connections and got the money. We thought we could get to them….or at least one of them…..but capturing the Hess brothers." Joe looked down at his beer, "But somehow they got a step ahead of us."

Steve didn't like where this was leading and he felt his gut clench. He looked at his Mom, "So all this time, we thought the Hess' were working with Wo Fat when they were really working for Yao Fat and Barkov? And if that's true, then who was it that gave the order for my dad to be killed?"

Neither Joe nor Doris answered.

Steve pushed himself out of his chair so hard it toppled over. He stood in front of his mom with absolute fire in his eyes. "Answer me, Doris!" he screamed. "And I swear to God, if I find out you had anything to do with Barkov taking Catherine, I will….."

Doris stood up in front of her son, and although she was trying to stay calm, Steve could see that she was shaking. "Steve, it's not what you think…" she interrupted.

Steve's voice lowered to what could only be described as a growl as he took a step towards her. "Then tell me what it **is** about. **NOW.** "


	8. Chapter 9

**So we may finally have some answers on why Doris continually leaves Steve's life…..and why Catherine left to join her. I hope my details and explanations make sense. I have often wondered why Catherine would have left Steve (I mean, honestly….who would voluntarily leave our Super SEAL?) In my imagination, Catherine had to have a good reason for doing so…..One that would make it worth leaving. Let's hope Steve feels the same way when he hears the story. At any rate, I'm just happy to have Steve and Catherine under the same roof together again…..Even though the road ahead may not be easy.**

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Doris' eyes suddenly sparked with the same fire being mirrored in her sons. "First of all, you need to sit and calm down. I will tell you what I know…but I will not to do that until you _**sit**_."

Sitting back down was the last thing Steve wanted to do but he figured he might as well play along if he wanted to find out the truth; Or at least Doris' version of the truth.

Once he was back in his seat, she sat down as well and looked around at the group around her. No one else had said a word even though she knew they all had questions. She fixed her eyes on Steve.

"As you know, I was commissioned with bringing down Yao Fat. That was before we knew of his ties with Sergi Barkov. " She stopped to take a deep breath before continuing, "It took us quite a while to get close enough to Yao Fat to pull it off, but we thought we finally got there. What we didn't know, however, was that Barkov somehow fed us false information…..which is how Yao Fat's _wife_ ….and Wo Fat's _mother_ ended up being killed by mistake. I felt responsible because it was my job to assure the intel was credible before we moved forward. I screwed up….she was killed…..and I never forgave myself."

Steve couldn't find it within himself to sympathize with her at the moment; There was still too much to find out.

"So how did Barkov come into the picture?"

"After she was killed, we learned where the false information came from began to see all of the connections tying Sergi Barkov and Yao Fat together. He has always been very allusive, though, and we've literally never been able to get a good lead on where he is. He only stays in one place for a couple of weeks at a time and is constantly moving."

"That still doesn't answer my questions: WHY did they come after Dad? As far as they knew, you were _dead._ Dad wasn't even part of the equation so why did they kill him?"

Doris' eyes filled with unshed tears, "That was Barkov's revenge on me."

"Revenge for what?" Steve spat. "You were supposed to kill or capture his business partner…which you didn't do…so why did he need to get back at you? Sounds to me like they've been doing business as usual for the last 25 years!"

Doris looked at Joe as if pleading for some help with the explanation. Joe decided to step in.

"When your team went after the Hess' several years ago, another Team went after Barkov when we finally got some credible intel on where he was staying. We thought we were finally going to break up the entire ring."

"But…" Danny said in question.

"But…..Barkov's wife and daughter were caught in the crossfire and killed."

Steve's mind was whirling. It still didn't make any sense.

Danny agreed. "So what?" he said. "What does any of this have to do with Steve? They had to have sent Victor Hess after John before Steve's team had even apprehended his brother. It doesn't make any sense."

"It makes sense" Doris began, "because both Barkov and Yao Fat blamed me for the loss of their families. When Sergi's family was killed, he found out I was still alive."

Steve was beginning to understand. "So they sent Victor to kill dad before they even knew my team was involved in capturing Anton?"

"In a manner of speaking," Joe said. "We knew the Hess were working for Barkov…..so after his wife and daughter were killed, the intel was leading us to believe they were going to come after you, but we had no idea they would go after John."

Tears were streaming down Doris' face now. "Steve, you have to believe that faking my death all those years ago was the only way I had of protecting you….and Mary…and your dad. I figured it would all stop if they thought I was dead. It worked for a while. _**Years**_ actually…But when Barkov's family was killed, Wo Fat found him and told him I was still alive and blamed their deaths on me just like I was to blame for his mother's death. It wasn't true, of course, but Barkov didn't care. He's apparently been looking for revenge ever since."

Everyone was quiet and nearly afraid to speak while they let it all sink in. There were so many pieces to the puzzle and it seemed to only get more complicated every time they thought they had it figured out.

"So how does Catherine fit in to this?" Steve asked quietly.

"I reached out to Catherine when she was in Kabul last year. I had a lead that I asked her to follow up on for me…..off the record."

"What….with all your connections, you couldn't do that yourself?" Steve asked sarcastically.

"Yes…I could have," Doris admitted, "but not without raising too many red flags. Catherine could do it without people thinking twice."

"Go on…" Steve said. "Her getting information for you is one thing, but leaving me to supposedly join the CIA on some sort of undercover op is a completely different story."

"That was my decision," Catherine's voice came softly from behind them. Steve turned to look at her, and before he could stop her, she went on. "Before I would use up any of my 'favors' to get info for your Mom, I wanted to know who Barkov was…..and why she needed the info."

She stopped when she was standing by Steve's chair, so he pulled her down onto his lap. Her hair was still wet and she smelled like her favorite bubble bath; The one Steve always kept on hand for her and never got rid of after she left the last time. Now he was glad he didn't as he breathed in the fresh scent that always reminded him of "Catherine".

"When I found out Barkov was most likely at the 'top of the chain' of those involved with killing your dad…..and that he was biding his time until he could get to you…I had to help."

"Why?" Steve asked.

Catherine swallowed a lump of emotion and looked down at her hands, "Because I couldn't bear the thought of losing you," she said.

"Cath…" Steve began…..

….but Catherine interrupted. "And…..I knew he would have to be permanently out of the picture if we ever had a chance of being happy. He is the final piece of the puzzle that needs to be eliminated before that can happen."

When Steve just continued to look at her, she said, "Steve, this whole nightmare has followed you literally the whole time I've known you. I knew you would never be able to put it behind you…..and your mom would never feel safe enough to stay around for more than a month at a time…..until Barkov was out of the picture. I had to help her get him out in the open."

Steve glared at his Mom, "So you used Catherine as **bait?** "

"No, Steve," Catherine answered his question. "Doris didn't ask me to do this. I volunteered. She tried to talk me out of it, in fact, but I wanted to help get this behind us so we could move on."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Steve asked her quietly. "Why not keep me in the loop?"

Catherine looked at him sadly, "Would you have let me go if you knew the truth?"

Of course he wouldn't have allowed it, Steve thought grimly, and the look on his face told all of them it was exactly what he was thinking.

So all this time as Steve had been trying to 'move on' from Catherine leaving, she had been out there trying to save him from this lunatic? It was a lot to process.

If only he'd have known…

If only he'd known, he would have found her and dragged her ass back home where she belonged.

If only he'd known, she never would have left in the first place and they would probably be married by now.

"So now what?" Kono broke his thoughts and asked. "Barkov obviously has his sights set on Steve again."

"Now, we pull together and get rid of the SOB once and for all," Joe answered. "Kidnapping Catherine was risky…..even for him…..He's starting to get sloppy which means he'll be easier to apprehend."

Apprehending Sergi Barkov was the last thing on Steve's mind. Killing him would be better, he thought, and if given half a chance, that was exactly what Steve planned to do.

Steve was tired; Actually, they all were. It had been an exhausting few days and the only thing on everyone's mind was sleeping in their own beds.

************h50*******************h50**************h50

Everyone soon left; Even Doris left to give Steve and Catherine some time alone. Steve breathed a sigh of relief as he locked the door and turned towards Catherine. She looked exhausted.

Steve walked towards her and put his arms around to pull her close and kiss the top of her head as it rested just under his chin.

"I'm so sorry, Steve."

Catherine had already apologized over and over, but Steve didn't quite understand the guilt she was feeling. She may have volunteered to go on this suicide mission with his mother, but she probably didn't realize how dangerous it would really be. She certainly didn't volunteer to be kidnapped and tortured. So why did she feel so guilty?

"Cath, you can stop apologizing. It's not like you asked for this."

Steve didn't understand, Catherine thought. It wasn't that she felt guilty for him having to rescue her. Well, actually she did feel guilty about that…..but it wasn't what was bothering her so much.

Her plan had been to help get Sergi Barkhov permanently out of the picture and out of their lives so she and Steve could hopefully work towards building a future together. She never expected Steve to tell her he would 'move on' if she left again…but her decision had already been made when he said that would be the case. As much as it hurt her, she decided she still needed to do what she could to protect Steve and bring his nightmare to an end.

She wanted him to be happy…even if it meant he did so without her. Pulling away from his home the day she'd said "goodbye" had practically ripped her heart out. She had come very close to telling her driver to turn around and take her back.

Now…..over a year later, she'd found out Steve had been planning to propose to her that day. It broke her heart again to think of what it must have done to him to see her drive away. Yes, her reasons had been honorable….but had they been the right ones? If she wouldn't have left, would they be married now?

And what now? She knew he had a girlfriend, and she couldn't fault him for that since he had told her he wouldn't be able to wait any more for her…but was it too late for _them?_ Was it unrealistic for her to hope there was still hope for them to have a life together once this was all over?

Suddenly her exhaustion set in. "I'm really tired."

He leaned back to look at her with concern. "Of course," he said. "Why don't you take my bed and I'll sleep in Mary's old room."

Catherine suddenly felt shy. "You don't have to do that, Steve. I can sleep in Mary's room."

Steve took her hand and started leading her upstairs, "I insist. You'll be more comfortable in here. And I'll be right down the hall if you need me. Okay?"

Always the gentleman, Catherine thought with affection.

They said goodnight and parted ways both thinking about what tomorrow would bring.

Before turning off the light, Steve checked his phone and saw two messages he'd missed from Lynn. There was also a text from her asking if everything was okay. He noticed how late it was and decided to text her back rather than calling. Was he being a coward, he wondered. No….truth be told, he didn't know what he wanted or even thought at the moment. He was praying for some clarity after a good night's rest.

So, before closing his eyes, he sent a quick message:

 _We made it back…..Catherine is safe. Will talk to you tomorrow._

Then he laid back on the pillow and sighed. This wasn't going to be easy…


	9. Chapter 10

3:30 a.m…..

Steve woke with a start as he heard Catherine's screaming in the other room. He quickly bolted out of bed and down the hall where he found her thrashing in his bed. The sheets were twisted so tightly around her she could barely move her legs as she continued to scream.

"No, no, no…..Let me GO!…. _ **Please!**_ "

"Cath!" Steve said as he rushed to her side. Even though it was hard to get hold of her the way she was twisting about, he moved on to the bed and pulled her close to his chest. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and started whispering to her as he'd done before.

"Shhh…..Cath….You're okay. I'm here…Shhh, Shhh, Shhh…." He leaned down to kiss her hair, rocked her back and forth, and repeated the words until she began to calm down. Even though she never woke up, it was as if his presence soothed her. She began to calm down and snuggled in to him even though the grip she had on him was clear evidence of the terror she was facing in her dreams.

"Don't leave me….Please don't leave me here." She whispered sleepily.

It was in that moment that Steve decided to screw propriety; Catherine may not remember any of this in the morning, but she was going to need him to get through the night and however many nights it would take to get over the horror.

"I'm right here, babe. I'm right here. You're safe, Cath."

He leaned down to kiss the top of her head again and breathed in the smell of her. Being in the Navy for so many years, Catherine had learned to make do with little in the way of 'girly things'. However, whenever she was on leave, there were certain "indulgences" she liked that Steve tried to keep on hand. They weren't expensive…but totally worth keeping if they made her feel at home.

One was the lavender bubble bath she loved so much. Catherine loved to run a bath in the whirlpool tub and fill it to the brim with bubbles before lighting candles and slipping in. Most of the time, she would either take a glass of wine with her…or Steve would bring one to her before joining her in the bubbles.

The other thing she loved was Dove Body Wash. It was very inexpensive as far as bath soaps were concerned, but Cath swore it would cure her dry, sea-tired skin in one use. He couldn't argue that fact since her skin always felt like silk as soon as she got out of the shower. Plus, he loved the smell…It was fresh, clean scent that always reminded him of her.

He continued to hold her close. He felt her tremors slow down and she fell back to sleep. The rest of the night went somewhat better. Catherine woke up one other time with a nightmare, but it passed more quickly since Steve was beside her. She stayed snuggled into him as if he were a security blanket which suited him fine since he loved holding her.

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Steve heard his phone ringing around 6:00 a.m. He got out of bed as gently as he could trying not to disturb Cath so she could get the sleep she so desperately needed. The he walked quickly to retrieve his phone from the other bedroom.

Danny's number was the one on his Caller ID. Steve had asked the Governor to forward any important calls to Danny if a case came up, so he was praying that wasn't why his partner was calling at such an early hour.

"Mornin', Danny. What's up?"

However, it wasn't Danny's voice who answered him.

It was Gracie.

"Hi, Uncle Steve. It's me."

"Gracie? Is everything okay, honey?"

"Yeah…We're good…..I just…."

Steve heard his niece sniff on the other line.

"What's wrong, honey?" Steve asked gently.

Grace hesitated before answering. "Is Aunt Cath okay?"

Steve heard the quiver in her voice and felt his heart twist as he tried to assure her. "She's okay, Gracie. At least she's back home….so that's a good thing, right?"

"Yeah….I guess so." Steve hated hearing the trepidation in her voice.

"Hey…." Steve said. "Why are you up so early on a Saturday?"

"I couldn't sleep," she answered. "I begged Danno to pick me up last night because I wanted to check on Cath, but he told me I had to wait until this morning because you both needed to rest…So are you sure she's okay?"

Steve heard the concern in Grace's voice and wished she were close enough to give a hug. Since that wasn't possible, he decided to do something else.

"She's okay, but it's going to take her some time to get back to normal, " he told her honestly. "You wanna come over to see her today? I'm sure it would really cheer up Aunt Cath to see you."

"Can we, please? Uncle Steve , that would be so great!"

The excitement in Grace's voice was contagious and Steve couldn't help but smile.

"Of course, you can."

"Okay! I'm gonna tell Danno. Want us to bring some lunch?"

"I think I have enough food here, so just bring your swimsuit. It's supposed to be a beautiful day, so we can go for a swim."

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Steve hung up the phone and made his way back to Catherine who was sleeping soundly in his bed. It took about three more hours before she started to stir; Waking up at 9:00 a.m. was unheard of for anyone who was in the military, but Steve reasoned that 1) They both _deserved_ it and 2) Catherine _needed_ it.

He felt her stirring in his arms so he shifted enough to look at her even though he kept a protective arm around her.

She opened her eyes sleepily and looked at him.

"Mornin' Lieutenant," he smiled down at her.

Catherine heard the familiar greeting…one she'd heard so many times in the past…..and felt her heart swell.

SO, she answered him in the same way she always did as well:

"Mornin', Commander."

"How do you feel?" Steve asked….concern etched in his voice.

"I'm okay, I guess."

"Well, I hope you're more than 'ok' because Gracie really wants to see you today. She needs to see for herself that her Aunt Cath is okay…"

Catherine propped herself up on one elbow, "I've missed her."

"She's missed you too," Steve said. "So, I told her to get Danny to bring her and Charlie over and we'll spend the day here. It's supposed to be beautiful….so we can spend the day out back swimming or whatever."

"Sounds perfect."

"Okay…..so how about if I take you to Rainbow for some breakfast, and then we'll come back here to spend the day?"

"That sounds really good," Catherine answered. "Lemme get a shower and I can be ready in a little while. Okay?"

Steve thought about it for a minute. He wanted to join her in the shower…..Just like he always did…..but something was stopping him.

He had to have a conversation with Lynn first.

Steve walked downstairs and out to his backyard before calling her. He didn't know what he was going to say…..He couldn't figure out his feelings himself, so how in the heck was he going to explain it to anyone else? He figured it would be best to ask her to meet for lunch soon so they could talk.

Yeah…..that's what he would do. That would give him some time to think about how to explain all of this to her.

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Catherine got out of the shower and wrapped one of Steve's over-sized towels around her. She heard his voice outside and knew it was impolite to eavesdrop, but since the door leading to the upstairs deck was open, she couldn't help but overhear some of the conversation.

She quietly tiptoed to the door to listen.

 _YES, I'm eavesdropping!_ She said mentally to the annoying little voice inside her. _So friggin'_ _ **sue**_ _me!_

She hoped he wasn't being called in for a job. That wouldn't be out of the 'norm' since their jobs had a tendency to get in the way of their relationship….but she still hoped he wasn't being called in for a case.

"I'm sorry….." she heard him say. "I never expected this….I mean…." Steve sighed as Catherine continued to quietly listen to his phone conversation.

"I wanted to move on. I thought she left for reasons that had nothing to do with me. I mean, I really believed she left **ME** …...but _**now**_ I see that whatever she's been doing may have been **for** me as screwed up as it may have been. I can probably blame that on Doris. I mean apparently, my mom and Cath were trying to protect me from…something…."

Steve grew quiet when the person he was talking to must have started speaking.

"I'm sorry, Lynn" he said again. "I swear to God, I never meant to hurt you. But I have to be honest with you…..I need to be here for her; No matter how long it takes."

He paused for a few seconds as he listened to something Lynn was saying.

"Yes….," he sighed. "I still love her."

Catherine felt her breath hitch. She knew this was difficult for Steve. Voicing his opinions or feelings on relationships had never been easy; It's probably the biggest reason they'd been so "on again off again" for the last several years and why she was never quite sure how he felt.

Steve ended the phone call and started to walk back into the house. Catherine hurried back inside to get dressed and be a little less obvious about her eavesdropping.

She really hoped this meant she and Steve would finally have a chance to be together; As horrible as this situation had been, maybe it would finally bring their emotions and feelings out in to the open so they could move on…..together.

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After putting on her favorite pair of cutoff shorts (which were still at Steve's house from her last stay) and a tank top, she walked downstairs where she found Steve sitting in a chair outside. She approached him quietly, stood behind him, and put her hands on his shoulders.

"Everything okay?" she asked softly.

Steve continued to look out towards the ocean. "Yeah….It's okay."

"I'm sorry if I've caused problems for you. I mean, I didn't mean….."

Steve reached a hand up to grab hers as it rested on his shoulder. "You didn't cause any problems, Cath," he interrupted. "I wanted to meet Lynn somewhere later so we could talk….but I think she already knew something was going on. She wanted to talk about it now…."

"I'm sorry," Catherine said again.

Steve stood up from the chair and turned around to face her. He pulled her to him and leaned down to kiss her tenderly. "You have nothing to be sorry about. I'm happy you're back."

Catherine smiled up at him and he kissed her again.

"Let's go get some breakfast. Danny and the kids will be here in a couple of hours."

Steve held her hand and he led her back inside to grab his keys and wallet before locking up and getting into his truck.

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 **Things are calm now, but we know how things go in the McRollins world. I'm sure trouble is brewing somewhere.**

 **Let me know what you think.**


	10. Chapter 11

**FYI, this chapter will begin to deal with Catherine's PTSD. We will also begin to see how our favorite SEAL helps care for his love.**

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Steve parked his truck outside the Wailana Coffee House which was one of his favorite places for breakfast. It had always been a favorite of Catherine's as well which is why he'd brought her that morning. Getting back to a normal routine and being in familiar places was one of the first steps to moving on after trauma. He cut off the engine and glanced over to see Catherine was pale. She looked terrified.

He reached over to take her hand which was cold and trembling slightly. "Hey," he said softly. "You okay?"

Instead of answering, she continued to look straight ahead.

"Cath?"

This time she turned towards him and he could clearly see the uncertainty and fear clouding her eyes.

"You okay?" he asked again.

Catherine was looking at him but not answering which was disconcerting. She looked as if she could bolt at any second; Or have a _breakdown_ and neither scenario was appealing.

Steve squeezed her hand affectionately. He should have known it was too soon to get her out into a public place.

"It's okay," he said as he gave her a soft smile. "We don't have to go inside to eat. How about if we go to Rainbow instead? That way we can just eat in the truck. OR, we can go back home and I'll make my famous pancakes. Whatever you want to do is fine. "

She smiled at him weakly and he felt relief wash over him.

"Some Loco Moco from Rainbow sounds great right now. Maybe we can do pancakes tomorrow?" she said quietly.

He nodded and reached over to put a hand on her knee. "Absolutely. Rainbow it is then." He turned the key to start the truck again as they made their way to the drive-in restaurant. He kept a gentle hold on her as he felt the tension leaving her sitting beside him.

They parked at the drive-in and placed their orders. It was the first time Catherine had spoken since they'd left Wailana's.

"I'm sorry, Steve," she whispered.

"For what?"

"I know you like Wailana's. I just couldn't…."

"Cath, it's okay. Really. I understand. I should be the one apologizing for thinking you could get out so soon. We're just going to take things easy from here one out…..One step at a time." He leaned over and kissed her softly before their food arrived.

*************H50******************h50*****************h50

Several hours later, Danny and the kids had arrived for time on the beach and with their Aunt Cath. Gracie, especially, had missed her which was evident in the way she'd hugged Catherine upon arriving at Steve's house.

A couple of hours passed and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Until something caused Catherine's eyes to glaze over. Steve sensed it happening before anyone else did. She was shutting down emotionally and entering into a "fight or flight" mode. She got very still before turning towards Steve.

"I need to go inside…Just for a minute…I need to go inside…"

Then she started walking quickly towards the house. Instinct told Steve she actually wanted to run but was walking quickly so as not to frighten the kids and make them wonder what was going on.

Danny cast a worried look towards Steve.

"I've got her," Steve said in answer to Danny's unspoken concern.

Grace immediately came out of the water.

"Is Aunt Cath okay?"

Danny reached over to give her a quick hug, "She's fine, monkey. Uncle Steve's just going in to make sure she doesn't need anything. Okay?"

It took a few minutes, but Steve finally found her.

Actually he _heard_ her before he _saw_ her.

It was only a soft whimper, but he heard it.

He stepped into his bedroom and slowly made his way to the bathroom door before peering cautiously inside.

She was sitting on the floor of the bathroom in his bedroom, knees pulled up to her chest and rocking back and forth as if trying to soothe herself.

Catherine felt someone approaching and curled herself up even tighter as if trying to disappear.

"Catherine, it's me."

She looked up at him and Steve felt his heart twist at the pain and fear he saw in her eyes.

He approached her tentatively and sat down on the floor beside her before pulling her to him.

She was shaking and her breathing was shallow.

Steve realized what was going on because he'd _been there_.

A panic attack.

"Take some deep breaths for me," he whispered. "Deep breaths, Catherine. Shhhhhh….I'm right here with you."

Catherine tried to do as he said but still struggled to pull herself out of the black hole she'd fallen into. What had happened? One minute she was fine and the next minute she felt as if she was suffocating and couldn't seem to pull herself out of it.

Steve did the only thing he knew to do: He pulled her onto his lap so he could completely engulf her in his arms. His hold on her remained _tight_ and _close_.

"Deep breaths, baby. Come on…..You can do it." Steve started stroking her hair. "Come back to me."

Catherine's head was resting on Steve's shoulder and she turned slightly towards his neck to breathe in the scent she loved so much.

She heard Steve's voice talking to her…..

Soothing her…

And encouraging her to _'breathe'_.

She tried to do as he said and eventually felt the cloud lifting and her heart rate calming down.

Steve continued to hold her even after her breathing became normal again.

After a few minutes of silence, she was still clinging to his t-shirt with her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Steve…I should have….."

Steve interrupted her and moved so he could get her chin in his hand and lift it up.

"Catherine, look at me."

When she didn't comply, he put his hands on either side of her face. His voice was calm but firm allowing for no argument. " _ **Look**_ at me. _Right now._ "

She obeyed and looked into the eyes she loved so much and started to feel herself calming down.

Steve's eyes were so beautiful, she thought somewhat distractedly. They changed color depending on his mood which was something that had always amazed her. Right now they were dark blue…which meant he was serious…..focused.

"I swear to God, if you apologize to me one more time, you will _**not**_ like the consequences. Understand?" he joked as he raised his eyebrows.

Catherine's only response was to smile and shake her head.

"This isn't your fault, Catherine. **None of this** is your fault and what you are feeling is completely normal."

She felt like she needed to explain. "I don't know what happened, Steve. All of a sudden, I felt like I couldn't breathe and I just had to get away. You **know** I _love_ Gracie, and Charlie, and….."

Steve leaned forward to kiss her forehead, "I know you do, but like I said…..This is normal. You're going to need some time to work through all of this."

She turned sad eyes towards him again.

"You've had enough for today, so why don't I tell Danny and the kids…"

"NO," Catherine interrupted. "Gracie and Charlie were looking forward to a cook-out, so we're gonna do it."

"Are you sure?" Steve was more concerned about Catherine and her obvious PTSD than the kids at the moment; They would understand if things needed to be cut short.

 **Catherine** was the one who needed help now .

"I'm sure," Catherine said definitively. The fire was back in her eyes and he knew there was no talking her out of it. "I'll be okay."

"Alright…but tomorrow, we're staying home. Just the two of us."

***************h50********************h50******************h50

Steve spent the next week at home with Catherine. It was the first time he could remember ever taking that much time off work. He would take a long weekend every now and then, but never an entire week.

But she needed him.

And she was worth it.

Her night terrors were still there but they were getting less frequent. That was no doubt due to Steve sleeping by her side. She fell asleep every night in his arms and he would hold her until morning. If a nightmare came, he was already there to pull her closer and gently talk her out of it.

Catherine also began to share a little more with him about what had happened the time she was with Barkov. Knowing Steve like she did, however, there were certain details she refused to completely divulge. Chances were already pretty certain Steve would rather kill the man than "capture" him, so as the memories began to flood back into her consciousness, she decided against adding any more kindling to the fire she saw in his eyes.

******************h50********************h50*******************h50

 _Several days later…_

Steve had finally agreed to leave the house with Catherine. They decided to venture to one of their favorite beaches on the island: It was quiet, unpopulated, and practically guaranteed them some alone time without too many people to distract Catherine or make her feel uncomfortable.

They had been settled into a spot for nearly thirty minutes when Steve's phone rang. Looking at his Caller ID, he saw it was Joe.

"Cath, I'll be right back."

She looked over at him.

"I'll be right over here….Okay?"

She nodded her agreement and he answered the call.

"Hey, Joe…..What's up?"

"I have some bad news."

Steve cast a glance in Catherine's direction although his face didn't give anything away.

"What bad news?"

Joe sighed on the other line. "I've just received some intel that Barkov is on the island."

"What?! How could you know that? Who told you?"

"I may be retired, Steve, but I still have connections; Especially where certain family members are concerned."

Steve didn't miss the inference; Joe considered him family which meant the world to him, especially in moments like this.

"Okay, so what else do you know?"

"Unfortunately, that's it so far. He's been under surveillance since they found out where he was holding Catherine. They lost contact for a couple of days, but intel tells them he's on the island."

Steve knew what that meant. "And he's looking for Catherine…..or me…right?"

"I think we need to be ready for that," Joe confirmed. "Especially after your last conversation with him. And you know the Feds…Even though my contact shared the info with me, they are insisting this is their operation and we stay out of it. "

Steve turned away from Catherine so she wouldn't be able to hear what he was saying or read his lips.

"Yeah, well, you know me well enough to know that's not gonna happen."

"I knew you'd say that." Steve could hear the smile in Joe's voice. "And I couldn't agree more. They've had more than enough time to apprehend him. At this point, I'd be willing to say it's anyone's game. I'm going to be right there with you when it happens, too."

Steve felt a lump of emotion in his throat at Joe's admission. Steve may have lost his father, but his dad had been Joe's best friend. They had both lost a lot the day John died.

"Thanks, Joe."

"You got it, son. And listen…..I don't know where you are right now, but I'd say it's probably a good idea to try to say concealed until we get this settled. It won't be safe for either one of you to be out in the open."

"Copy that," Steve said. "I need to check on a couple of things in the office anyway, so we'll head there before going back home. Why don't you come over around 7 and we'll grill some steaks."

"Sounds good. See you then."

"And Joe?-Let's not say anything to Catherine about this yet, okay?"

"I agree. She doesn't need to know yet."

They ended the call and Steve made his way to Catherine. The excuse he came up with for leaving the beach may not have been entirely plausible, but Catherine didn't seem to notice….Much to Steve's relief.

Within a few minutes, they had Steve's truck loaded up and were on their way back to HQ.


End file.
